Perfect Bodies
by Konohamaru
Summary: A story for those of us who have ever been insecure about our bodies.Who've wished the mirror saw something different. And-Defying physical stereotypes:Just because a person is tall, fat, or unstylish doesn't mean they can't be cute, pretty, or incredible
1. Chapter 1

_~Ah, ello ello, I'm back from my long long stay away and now I'm ready to write! Just a side not here, but in this story I kinda twisted the Akatsuki headquarters. I always imagined it to be more like collage dorms than anything else. So, all the pairs in the Akatsuki share a room and bunk beds! And, wouldn't cha know it, they also have a lounge and coffee room! (although I don't know if the coffee room is included in this story) Anyway, the events in this story are purely mine although the characters are owned by our good pal Kishi-sama! Enjoy :3~_

***

"We've already debated on this God knows how many times. It's not that I don't appreciate your art, Sasori-danna, it's just that it's not supreme." Deidara flipped his bangs out of his left eye, to which they fell immediately back on, and smirked. "Including everything that I've already mentioned, it doesn't even bring the user any benefits, hm."

Sasori looked up from his puppet workings. He and Deidara had been on the same argument about each other's art for the last twenty minutes and he had found himself becoming tirelessly bored. But the last card Deidara had played he did not understand. And now, sitting on the edge of the bottom bunk –Deidara's bed- he looked at his partner with a twinge of curiosity.

"What do you mean?"

As Deidara's hands rose to cup behind his head he felt a little more dominant. It felt good to explain something to someone who was rarely cretinous of anything.

"Well, really, look at you. No offense, but I've never seen a walking-talking tree before, hm. I mean, you do look nicer out of your Hiruko form then in, but still. What kind of social life do you have?"

Sasori went back to fixing his broken puppet. He was surprised that for a moment there, he had actually been interested. "Things like that have no relevance to me. And nor should they you, as a member of the Akatsuki. Why would it matter to me what my body looks like if it's serving its purpose?"

The equally bored Deidara sat up and decided to take a jab at something he'd never thought of before.

"But you're heart is still a human form, hm. We all –even those with permanent bloodstains on our hands- have certain _urges_ that need to be met, wouldn't you agree? And living in that grotesque body of yours provides no way of getting an outlet. Even one without personal bonds." The blond chuckled a bit at the whole thought of Sasori's non-existent love life.

But Sasori's eyes narrowed as he looked at his supposed comrade. He wasn't as amused.

"There is nothing regarding my body that would prevent me from doing anything you could do with those disgusting hands of yours." The puppeteer felt a sting of something inside, but he dismissed it as frivolous.

"On the contrary," Deidara was a tiger stalking its next meal. Relishing in the knowledge that his prey would not escape. "I bet you didn't think of applying a certain male organ to your _body of art _when you first created it. You're useless in the pleasing section of social interaction, hm."

Sasori's jaw clicked but he did not say a word.

That was when Deidara should've stopped.

"In fact, Sasori-danna, I'm sure that even if you found someone to cherish, their appreciation for your _art_ may not grow so much after they've realized your limitations, hm. I mean who wants a man who isn't really a man at all? Not even close in the bedroom. Wasn't it said that one of the greatest things in life is the gift of pleasure to someone else? Which in turn you cannot be prefo-"

Suddenly Deidara was up against the wall with his partner's face inches from his and Sasori's metal bladed 'tail' pressing his neck.

With an icicle hanging off of every frigid word he was something Deidara had never seen before.

"What I do with others in that sense is of no concern to you. The fact is, as I've told you before, I have no interest in any sexual act of pleasing someone else because I don't give a damn about a situation where I have to rely on someone else and they feel somehow _bound_ to me. That's a useless knot I would never tie and if you don't get it though your skull quickly, I may just have to crack it."

As his last word was uttered he spun and walked briskly out of the room, the motion causing a small open cut on Deidara's cheek.

Deidara slid slowly down the wall and landed with a slump on the ground. He didn't even notice the blood, which began to trickle to his chin.

_"Sasori-danna… Really lost it. I've never seen him so…"_

Deidara rubbed his cheek with his wrist and looked at the vital fluid now pattered on his skin.

_"Hurt."_

_***_

_~Ah, so? How did ya like it? Please send me a reveiw if you'd like and read the next chapter. There will be a few more after it to complete the story but the next one's where they get jiggy. .~_


	2. Chapter 2

"I think they got in a fight."

"Don't' worry about it, they just need to cool off a bit."

"But I kind of want to know what happened, they both seem a bit more upset this time."

"It's only a little tiff. How about we leave them alone for a while?" Itachi stared earnestly at the empty popcorn bowl he and Kisame had brought into the kitchen together to get away from the TV room full of deathly aura.

Kisame picked up some of the kernels and tossed them in his mouth, chewing heartily. "But I don't think I can handle being in the same _building_ as them. It bothers Samaheda too."

"Well the rest of the Akatsuki are out. Why don't we just get away from here for a bit? It doesn't matter where. The solitude will do them some good." Itachi smiled as Kisame nodded and the two of them went into the hallway.

As he passed the TV room entranceway, Itachi waved to Deidara and Sasori who were on opposite sides of the couch watching two in the morning infomercials at ten. "Kisame and I gotta go run some errands. We won't be back until later so you two will have the whole place to yourselves. Don't start any fires."

The two didn't even give a sign of apprehension as Kisame fallowed behind Itachi and whispered. "I don't think you have to worry about that. No poor fire would have a chance of surviving in that arctic room of bitterness."

A half an hour later from hearing the door slam a 'Magic Bullet' commercial appeared and Deidara stood up and exited the room. In any other account he would've announced to the whole world that he was going to take a shower but in this case the band-aid on his cheek reminded himself that he and Sasori were on no-speaking terms.

Over Nick and his British accent raving about how the Magic Bullet made a smoothie in JUST five seconds, Sasori wasn't aware that the water started to run.

Upstairs, attached to every bedroom, was a set of large bathrooms. Deidara entered his and Sasori's room and opened the side door leading to the tiled bathroom floor.

He stripped and looked at the one ceiling to floor mirror. His fingers brushed by the stitches concealing the other mouths on his body and he saw the face in the mirror take a forlorn expression.

"_What I said to Sasori-danna… Was it unfair of me to judge him in his form? I am… Not a masterpiece. This body is deformed and repulsive. His is in his own right beautiful. Even if he can't perform…" _Deidara shook his head. _"It doesn't matter what he can or can't do. His appeal is somewhere else…"_

A few minutes later Sasori got up and turned off the TV. He was lost in his thoughts and all his motions were automatic. There was no perceiving in anything he looked at. His mind wasn't necessarily on Deidara but just floating above him. It was as if he was jumping above the physical world of here and now and landing in the past of what Deidara had said. That same feeling he had dismissed before as frivolous toke itself up again and he wandered through a shadow of questionability of why he was feeling this way.

And that was why as he walked into their bedroom he didn't notice the light on in the bathroom nor the fact that it was polite to knock even if you thought no one was inside a room.

So he walked into the bathroom just as Deidara turned around and his trance was immediately broken.

Deidara stepped back on the soapy floor, the showerhead falling to the ground beside him and he turned around, trying to hide the body he thought was an abomination.

"What the hell are you doing here, hm?! Get out!

Sasori only stood motionless, staring at Deidara from across the room. His mind was fixated to later that day.

"'But you're heart is still a human form, hm. We all –even those with permanent bloodstains on our hands- have certain urges that need to be met, wouldn't you agree?'"

Deidara looked over his shoulder and was almost in a panic. "Is sawdust clogging your ears?! I said get the hell out!"

"'You're useless in the pleasing section of social interaction, hm.'"

Sasori's hand crept behind him and clutched the doorknob, finding the lock.

"In fact, Sasori-danna, I'm sure that even if you found someone to cherish, their appreciation for your art may not grow so much after they've realized your limitations, hm'"

"'…Who wants a man who isn't really a man at all?'"

He turned it.

His metal tail emerged from behind his clothes and cut down the back seam of his Akatsuki cloak. The material gave in to the sharp blade and fell apart beside him. Now he was only in his pants and the 'tail' tucked itself back into his chest hollow and he closed the opening.

A blank stare passed across his face as he took a step towards Deidara, whose eyes widened.

"What… What are you doing…?" His voice cracked as Sasori took more steps towards him. "Don't-Don't look at me!" He turned back around and stared at the wall, unsure of what to do.

"I'm going to-" Suddenly, Deidara felt Sasori's hands on his back. "-Show you that my _limitations_ are broader then you think.

Deidara felt himself becoming afraid. Not because of Sasori's unknown future actions, but because he was close to him. He could _see_ him. And this was something very scary for Deidara, whose self-loathing of his physical was unnatural.

"Please go away… I don't want you to see me like this…" Deidara had been reduced to mere mumbling.

Sasori slammed him up against the tiled wall bit his shoulder. But there were no words running through his mind. He was blank. A shell.

And then Deidara felt it –burning, pounding inside him as if Sasori was digging for a spot in his heart but never getting there. He cried out and it sounded dry and breathless. As if he got punched in the stomach. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be anywhere but here. He didn't want Sasori to see his disgusting form. He didn't want Sasori to think he was ugly.

But over a matter of moments his fears started to materialize. He started thinking about the here and now and realized as he looked down he had a stiff boner. He could feel himself blushing but didn't know if Sasori had noticed.

The strangest thing of all was there was something building in him. Filling up his body and he could feel it reaching the top. Whatever was filling up, he didn't know what but he was scared-because he had this feeling-that it would overflow.

"Stop-!" He managed to gasp in between pants. He didn't want to overflow in front of Sasori. Something was telling him it wouldn't be good but he couldn't hold his filling down. Sasori went harder and faster and it hurt and felt good all at the same time. "Stop or I'm gonna-"

But he cut himself off, crying out to an almost moan. He gave way and overflowed, cum spurting onto the tiles in front of them. Exhaustion came over him and he fell to the floor, limp, looking at what he'd made.

Sasori stared down at him, dumbfounded, as if he didn't understand what he'd just done. His gaze slowly turned to Deidara's white substance and he gave a puzzled look like 'What the hell is that?'

There would've been a silence through the bathroom but Deidara's harsh panting disrupted it. He tried to look at Sasori, but the puppeteer seemed almost torpor and this made Deidara very embarrassed. He didn't really have an idea of what to say or do. It seemed as though they were stuck in a time warp and he was only vaguely aware that the showerhead had been on for some time.

Sasori's face turned to him but the movement was short and detached, he had become aware of what he had just done. His body moved by itself to the only safety, the door. There was an almost fear in his heart as he staggered towards it. Fear of himself. Fear of what he'd caused.

Deidara's eyes filled with light tears, the kind that wouldn't last. In a way he felt like garbage, something used and then thrown away. And this hurt. But as Sasori reached for the door handle and unlocked it, Deidara remembered something he had planned on saying to him after his shower. His lips parted and trembled, he was scared no sound would come out. But as he provided the air his mouth shaped the words.

"I'm sorry."

Sasori left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

~_Thank you so much to all the people who read the first to chapters and enjoyed them! You don't know the encouragement I got from all your words of never ending exaltation. Sasori and Deidara say thanks too, they're glad you've come to read the next part in they're love story. =^.^= I really do pray with all my heart that you'll be as pleased with this chapter as you were with the last two. So here it comes! ~_

Over the next three days at the Akatsuki lair, all the other members started noticing a difference in Sasori and Deidara. The two hardly made any communication with the rest of them and none to each other. Any interaction was terse and monotonous and they were never in the same place at once.

Let the reader note that Sasori stayed up incredibly late and came into their bedroom when Deidara was asleep. During the time he walked past the slumbering blond, he made sure to avert his eyes. There was a pain he couldn't quite put his finger on that throbbed when he saw his partner. And he had no tolerance for useless unexplainable pain.

Unfortunately, the only people that really cared about the conflict were Itachi and Kisame, who were real followers of the soap operas and loved a good drama. But they knew they couldn't fix anything-at least not yet-the issue at hand could only be resolved by the ones involved.

One night as Sasori sat awake at two in the morning in the lounge watching that same Magic Bullet commercial that had been played at least fifty times in a row that night, Hidan walked in. He wasn't wearing a shirt, to Sasori's surfeit repulse, and he threw himself down heavily on the couch beside his associate.

"Not this crap again!" He protested loudly at the screen in front of them. "Do they really think I care that their midget blender is only the size of a fucking coffee mug?!"

Sasori felt an urge to tell Hidan that if he really didn't fancy the damn thing he could always just get back up and go but his lips were repressed by the thought of wasted breath.

Hidan glanced at him and smoothed back his hair, trying to look like a leather hot rod and ending up resembling more of a redneck hillbilly. "On any account do you like this shit?" But Sasori didn't respond so Hidan leaned forward and tweaked the red head's cheek. "Are you gonna talk to me or are you gonna sit there acting like a douching bastard?"

Sasori's eyes rolled to him. If it were only for Hidan's amusement, he would make an attempt at conversing.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" He asked in an insipid tone.

The fingers pinching his cheek pulled back as Hidan cupped his hands behind his slightly disheveled hair. "Because I damn feel like it, bro!" Sasori assumed the man was not sober. "It's a fucking nice breeze I rarely get to revel in because of our damn uniform!"

Sasori looked down at the Akatsuki fortified cloak he hadn't bothered to change out of. It had never really dwelled on him as a uniform.

"Why are you here?" Sasori asked, trying to fill space with something that wasn't Hidan's clamor.

A wide-tooth grin crossed the sadistic face. "Enjoying my free time. I just got back from one of the best clubs that I don't have to travel three days to get to." He leaned his head on the back of the couch and exhaled like he had just run a marathon. "Sometimes I think people make things too fucking complicated, you get what I mean?"

Sasori nodded slightly as his minor assumption of Hidan's alcoholic level turned into complete and utter certainty.

"It's like, if you've got something to say, say it. If you've got something to do, do it. If you've got someone to fuck, fuck 'em" His head bobbed as if agreeing to his own statement. "You do things now or you don't do 'em at all."

An eyebrow raised, Sasori wondered why Hidan was going on about it.

"'Cause if you're gonna be a pussy about things, you might as well be dead, right?" He slapped Sasori on the back and laughed heartily. "I think you've got an understanding of it, eh old man?"

Trying to get hold of being whammed on the back and being referred to as an 'old man', Sasori stood up and pulled Hidan with him. He steadied his cohort into leaning on him and could smell the scotch in his breath.

"I'm gonna take you to your bed, this is just getting annoying." He practically dragged Hidan up the stairs and to the last room on the right where Kakazu slept, looking like a heavy metal teenager- no shirt and long hair in his closed eyes.

Sasori dropped Hidan on the wool floor and grabbed the blanket from the top bunk, which was originally Hidan's bed. Unfortunately the puppet master didn't have the propensity to actually hoist Hidan up onto his bed so he just wrapped the blanket around him and was standing to get up when the white haired drunk grabbed his cloak and pulled him adjacent to his face.

"Remember, ya gotta do it now or you ain't never gonna do it." Then his head fell limp and rested on the floor as he closed his eyes and his hand lost its grip, letting Sasori go.

Exiting the room, Sasori's mind had planned to go back downstairs. But as he passed by his own room, his feet stopped and didn't seem to want to progress. As he looked forward he saw the stairs ahead. Just a little more, only a few more steps.

But there was no stratagem. He turned to the door and the knob. Only a simple action. Deidara probably wasn't awake anyway.

"_If you've got something to say, say it. If you've got something to do, do it."_

Sasori's hand bumped the doorknob and he came into a small realization that it had substance and was a solid real thing. Was he going to do it? And do what, for that matter. He hadn't decided.

"_If you've got someone to fuck, fuck 'em."_

And as he found himself walking through the doorway and staring across the room at the man leaning against the wall opposite him, he felt a certain allayment. He was gaining some progress. Even if it didn't turn out right he felt as though he could handle the darkening shadows that seemed to creep around Deidara's mind. And at that time he understood that there were dark shadows -demons even- that seemed to claim his partner in a way that he could slightly relate to.

Deidara looked up off the floor as Sasori entered. He had been sitting there for a while, fiddling with clay, not quite sure what to do so he was evenly startled as the door opened.

Sasori crossed half the room then fell to his knees and crawled up to Deidara who averted his eyes.

The mahogany-topped puppeteer cocked his head slightly and stared at the blond who seemed to shrink back from his breath.

"Please look at me."

Deidara's head turned back to Sasori who was on his hands and knees a few inches from him. There was something so reposeful about Sasori's voice that Deidara somehow wasn't afraid of the intimacy in their on-the-floor stance.

But that didn't stop him from being draconian. In fact, he thought that on the terms they were balancing on, being harsh was fair of him

"Why the hell are you here?" He spat, trying to be unyielding but he was already coming apart inside.

Sasori's expression didn't change. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

"I don't give a damn, hm!" Deidara retorted. He could feel a sting in his eyes. "I don't give a damn if you tell me you're sorry a hundred times, I don't ever want to be near you!" He fidgeted, trying to find a way around Sasori but to no avail. He looked back at the man in front of him and glanced at his fraudulent eyes that seemed all too real.

Slowly, the world seemed to shift, pulling Sasori closer to him until their lips were touching. It was soft, benign. And there was a comfort in it that emitted safety. Like in his touch, Deidara was home.

Sasori leaned back, parting their lips. "I will say it a hundred and one times, as long as you don't drift away from me."

He ran his finger along one of the stitches revealed through Deidara's fishnet shirt. The blond stopped himself from wincing and brought his hand up, clasping Sasori's in his and bringing his palm to his chest.

"My body isn't smooth like yours, hm. Nor is it art. I'm sorry for what I said before; I had no right in a matter I was lacking in, danna."

Sasori felt Deidara's heart beat under his palm. It was strange, in different momentum then his own. "What do you mean, 'lacking'?" He questioned. "I see someone here who has everything someone else could ever reach for. You make me…" He drew in a breath; it was hard to tell someone how you felt when you didn't really know yourself. "You make me want to want you."

A hand found it's way into Deidara's pants and skimmed across his member, he let out a slight gasp before exhaling, as if there was some relief in the touch. But more so, there was no fear.

"I want to understand this… This thing that makes me want to grab you and make you all mine." Sasori pressed his lips to Deidara's once again, but this time more urgently. A dehydrated man in a desert. His hand was moving up and down and there was warmth which was drawn from his partner and made him lust for more.

"Show me what it means to be alive."

Deidara clung to him, his body understanding completely where the source of pleasure was coming from. But something itched in his mind and as he could feel himself grow hard he blinked at Sasori.

He was panting and a sweat droplet rolled down his temple. "Why… do you want me, danna?"

A smirk crossed the puppets face for a mere moment. "I want to experience something I can't give myself. I've never gotten the chance to look at things through the same lens as someone else."

Deidara's hand slowly released itself from grasp.

"Is that it, hm?" He asked, stopping himself from quivering. Surely it was not. Surely.

One of Sasori's eyebrows raised. "Should there be more?"

And as fist made contact with face, the two were wondering more or less the same thing; 'What the hell is going on?'

Deidara watched as his hand balled up and knocked Sasori back. There was a sharp crack and Sasori sat up, touching his cheek, which had a small chip in it where the blond had just punched him senseless. His eyes were wide but he was too busy searching his memory bank to say anything.

The man rose in front of him, his lower lip stiff. He was shaking and glowered down.

Sasori stared up at him but was in utter confusion. He didn't understand what he had done, his crime before was flagitious and he had felt the guilt. This was strange and blank, and he felt blind to the punishment that was set before him.

"-out…"

The astonished puppeteer blinked. "What did you say?" His cohort had mumbled.

Deidara's eyes filled with flames and he shook, teeth bared. "I SAID GET OUT!!!" He screamed, sending Sasori staggering back on his already seated butt.

"What do you-"

"GET OUT!" He snarled and started coming at the figure on the ground. Sasori rolled over and jumped up, arms held in front to show he wasn't going to do anything harmful.

"Deidara, what did I do? Stop for a second and tell me-"

He got another whack in the jaw, which slammed him against the door. He groped for the handle as Deidara came at him, ready to tear him apart. Sasori's mind was racing and he didn't know if he should really leave or not but it was already decided as he was thrust through the door which in turn slammed in his face.

The last thing he heard from Deidara was an exasperated "I HATE YOU!" and then things being thrown against other things -most defiantly- furniture, behind the door.

A face-palm was put into action as Sasori sighed. He stumbled down the stairs, wondering why things were always so confusing for him. As he more or less fell onto the couch, his temporary bed, it seemed to him that giving up would be perfectly all right about now. It was useless to go any further, he had tried his best and he failed -he didn't really know why- but he had. It seemed that it was a lost cause; there would be no place in Deidara's heart for him.

Ever.

But he had a sinking suspicion that in the morning his mind, or maybe something else, wouldn't accept the logical recollection.

Oh yes, there would be countervail.

And he felt he would win.


	4. Chapter 4

_~Hey y'all! (Yup, I'ma hillbilly now) This is the fourth installment of Perfect Bodies (can I hear a woot woot?) and I'd like to thank all the people who have read up to here and encourage you to keep reading as I post more chapters. As you probably don't know, it has been incredibly hard for me to write this because of personal attachments, but I've been trooping on thanks to you guys and all your support! So right now you're probably like "Oi, shut up Konohamaru and get to the damn story." Well, sooorry for trying to include you guys in my little prologue! Geez! Ok, now I'm just being mean XD. Without further ado, here is the next part in our epic tale! AWAY!~_

"What are you doing?"

"Enveloping myself in my own aftermath…"

"That doesn't sound productive. I have a feeling I should call it illicit but I haven't had my coffee yet so you're off the hook." The more-or-less orange haired, face-pierced leader leaned back on the counter as the caffeinated hot beverage dribbled into the mug beside him. "Why, exactly, are you enveloping yourself in… Whatever you just said?"

"'Cause he's being a fucking pussy, that's why." A voice called from beside them.

Sasori raised his forehead off the kitchen table just in time to see Hidan finishing his decent down the stairs into the room.

Pein blinked at the Band-Aid on Sasori's cheek. Did it make sense for a puppet to need one? Maybe he had a wood pimple or something…

Hidan still wasn't wearing a shirt, to both Pein and Sasori's displeasure. He sat himself down with a simper slashed across his disjointed, tiresome face and rolled his eyes over to Pein, feeling coy. "This guy got booted out of his own damn room!" Hidan chucked his thumb over to his red headed counterpart, laughing with little rumination on the fact that it was Sasori himself who had helped Hidan to bed the night before.

Pein sat down at the table, holding his coffee in one hand and raising an eyebrow at Sasori. "What happened?"

There was a sigh that resonated in the room as Sasori rubbed the Band-Aid on his cheek that he had applied that morning. "Me and Deidara got into a little fight."

"Little?!" Hidan scoffed. "Blondie sounded like he was nuking the place! He probably left some wicked dents in the wall!"

Pein grimaced, of course, something _had _to be broken, maimed, or destroyed. He took a sip off his much-too-needed coffee and glanced over at his underling. "What were you fighting about?"

Sasori's expression didn't change. Pein noticed that his usual inscrutable face was now open with slight emotion, his eyebrows brought together and stayed as if ready to embrace. "I said something dumb and he didn't like it. The whole thing has been going down hill but…" He shook his head. "I have this feeling I won't let myself give up this time."

Heat rose to Pein's cheeks. He wasn't very good at handling these kinds of situations and was a bit perturbed by it. "Well, why don't you talk to Konan? I'm sure she'd like to help in this case." _"More like meddle." _He mentally corrected himself.

There was a glance around the room as each one imagined Konan hearing about Sasori and Deidara's tiff and getting all 'Oh, you two are just so cuuuuuuute!!!'

Sasori personally imagined her bringing him strait to Deidara and making them apologize like school children.

He shook his head and mumbled. "I don't think that would be such a great idea."

The two other men nodded. There was a twinge of sympathy that ran through them and they could apprehend easily the embarrassment of going to Konan.

"Well, there _is_ someone else we could go to. But you better be fucking damn sure that you really need help or he may be pissed." Hidan averted his eyes to a stain on the side of the table. If Sasori hadn't been so intrigued with the prospect of succor he would've excogitated the possibility Hidan had gone to this person for his own problem.

The puppeteer stood up, slamming his palms on the table's edge. "I don't care if he'll be in his most wrathful state, I'm going to make things right no matter what."

Hidan almost laughed at the way Sasori's apathetic voice didn't fit with what he had said. He sounded like a bad actor. The only reason Hidan took him seriously at all was the fact that he knew Sasori would never say something so cheesy unless he _really_ meant it.

So Pein followed Sasori who followed their shirtless advocate up the stairs and to the 'dorm' hall. The three stopped at the second door and gave each other a hesitated glance before knocking on it first and then walking in.

They were entering the love guru.

***

Hidan flicked on the light switch, sending a thick pink haze along everything but providing the viewers with a complete look around at the room. There wasn't much to see besides countless rose petals scattered here and there, an overdose of perfume bottles sitting on black shelves, and Itachi lying in a thong on a heart-shaped bed.

The charcoal-haired assassin paused a moment to finish the sentence in the book he was reading before placing the bookmark in between the pages, shutting it, and taking off his reading glasses.

He tossed his hair once and ran a hand through the silky thatch. It seemed a bit _too_ played out.

"What brings you young-" He glanced at Hidan. "-Shirtless men into my quarters?"

Sasori's expression contorted as he felt like a child going to a teacher for help, the one thing he had tried to avoid. The fact that the outline of Itachi's manhood was clearly seen through his leopard thong as he hopped over the bed board and stood in front of them, hands on his hips, in all his (almost) naked glory didn't help much.

Hidan looked as though he may say something but instead walked around Itachi and advanced to the shelves, immediately spraying the access of perfumes into the air and sniffing them. In a matter of seconds a light cloud that looked incredibly noxious and suffocating surrounded him. He didn't seem to mind.

Without their unofficial leader to guide them, Sasori and Pein were at a loss for words.

Itachi's eyebrows raised and did not look very impressed. He stared straight at Sasori but addressed Pein. "It seems you've brought in some morning wood, Pein-sama."

Hidan laughed behind them. He found the joke of Sasori's wooden flesh to be the most amusing thing in the past twenty-four hours.

"But last time I saw you," Itachi rolled his statement over to Sasori. "You and Deidara were in a little bit of a thicket patch. It was really dramatic, by the way. I wish I had filmed it."

Sasori's bottom lip was stiff. "I need your help."

Itachi's whole expression changed. At once he turned from a cold, malicious, not-too-good-in-the-mornings person and became almost eccentric. He pranced around the room, jumping onto his bed and looked down at them. "Well why didn't you say so earlier! God, it makes me so happy to hear that! Hurrah!" He leapt off the bed and bounded over to a chair, picking it up and putting it down for Pein, and then he leaned back on the bed board and crossed his legs. "What seems to be the issue?"

Sasori raised an eyebrow at Itachi's penchant to dance around his own estate. Realizing he wasn't going to get the same chair treatment as Pein, he sat down on the black, carpeted floor and crossed his legs. A solemn look lingered around him. "Deidara hates me."

There was a loud thump as Sasori got a sudden pound to the skull, compliments of Itachi's fist. He grabbed his head and yelped, wondering why everyone seemed to think it was all right to beat him senseless.

"Do you have some sort of brain tumor?" Itachi crossed his arms.

Sasori sulked. "Well, probably now that you've almost cracked my skull…"

Itachi wasn't amused and thrust his fists to his hips. "Don't go assuming things without good reason! That way of thinking will only leave you with a point of view that tells you everything is pointless!"

He got a set of narrowed eyes from the auburn on the ground. "I'm not _assuming _anything. He told me so."

"Pfft." They heard a scoff from behind them.

The three by the bed craned their necks to glance at Hidan who was scrutinizing them amidst a fog of perfume. "What people say and what they fucking mean are two different things!" He almost snarled. "When you start being around someone more frequently you gotta notice their crappy little ticks! Like Itachi said, you're assuming he hates you 'cause he told you so, but he probably just acted on emotion." It was an admonishing diatribe that Itachi made agreeable by nodding.

"Eh-hem…" Pein cleared his throat and slid his eyes to the ebony tress ninja in a thong and sighed. "I'm pretty sure we came here for Itachi's opinion, Hidan. It would do you well to shut that garbage hole you call a mouth."

The three other men in the room felt the icy field around Pein as he averted his eyes. He seemed to be uncomfortable with the whole situation.

Itachi shook his head and then gestured to Sasori. "So what exactly happened to you two that brought on such conflict, hm? Did you spill some sake on his art or something?"

Sasori shook his head and heat beat up his cheeks. "Well, it kinda happened like this…" The puppet man brought his knees up to his chest as he retold the happenings from the past few days starting with the fight he and Deidara had had concerning Sasori's ability as a man. As he got to a certain bathroom heartthrob scene, Pein stood up, as red in the face as Sasori was, and excused himself from the room.

Hidan just sat quietly and listened like a child to a fairytale.

"…And that's sort of… It." Sasori positioned his stare to the carpet.

Itachi blinked and unfolded his arms. He knelt down and placed a hand on Sasori's head. "It seems like you have a problem on your hands, my friend." He seemed almost affable now and Sasori glanced up at him.

"What should I do?" He asked, helplessly.

The raven topped man chewed on his lip a bit in thought as Hidan looked back and forward between the two.

"Well… How do you really feel about Deidara?"

Sasori blinked. "What do you mean? I-"

But Itachi cut him off. "By what you've told me, all Deidara is to you is a free ride to excitement." There was a pause but not long enough for Sasori to retort that he had no idea what Itachi was talking about. "He's something you use to get your thrills. Feel alive. Is that it?"

The emerald eyes of the puppet were averted. "I don't know…"

Suddenly, a rage was put forth from Itachi and he stood up swiftly. "Well that's it then? That's all you have? You just _don't know_ what that man means to you?! When you look at him, there's nothing? When you're with him, you're empty? There's no emotional connection at all?!"

Sasori looked up at him, an innocent at the boarder of realization. "It is not… Possible for me to feel emotional connections."

Itachi fell to his knees in front of him and placed a finger on the redhead's cheek and ran it down to his chin, bumping over the Band-Aid Sasori had put on that morning. "If you can't feel emotional connections," His voice was in a soft yet austere tone. "Then what are you doing here?"

Time froze in the room as Sasori's eyes widened a bit. What _was_ he doing here? It seemed a fairly easy question to answer but it had complicated results.

He was here because he was in love.

And as simple as it was to admit, he couldn't grasp it completely. But it was the truth. And the small light of truth from that one answer cast a great aurora on everything else. Was it impossible for him to feel more than he had originally intended to? Obviously not if he had come all the way there and embarrassed himself for the sake of another.

Standing up, fists at his sides, Sasori turned for the door. "Thank you, Itachi-san." He spoke solemnly.

"Hey, where are you going, fuckface?" Hidan asked from the edge of the bed.

Sasori glanced back at the two with a sharp gaze. "I'm going to make things right."

This strong, yet almost cheesy statement quickly lost its impact as Itachi stood up and leaned back, crossing his legs. "Well you're going to have to wait because Deidara went out early this morning."

A cold breeze blew through the room as Sasori gaped at them. "Oh…" One eye twitched and then he exited the room and the two other men heard a loud scream as Sasori lost his cool for a second and then returned to his composed, sure self, shuffling back to his own room.

As he stepped into the darkly lit crevice of his bedroom he noticed first that it seemed a bit bare. Like someone had intentionally tried to make it look clean. This was a bit odd since both Deidara and Sasori liked to live in an 'organized mess'.

But as Sasori stepped further into the room he saw on the bedside table a small sheet of paper. Picking it up and squinting he made out Deidara's handwriting:

_Sasori-danna,_

_ Goodbye._

A shock ran up his spine as the slip of paper fell to the ground and he turned. _"Goodbye? But that means he's…"_

The door slammed behind him as he bolted out of the room and through the hall, almost jumping the entire staircase.

_"…Gone."_

_~Well? How was this chapter? Sasori and Deidara's relationship hasn't been mended yet but there's still hope! Sorry this part took a little while to put up, I was unable to access my komputar for some time. Please review with all your typing power and stay tuned for the next chapter, coming soon! (=^-^=)~_

_P.S. I just looked over older chapters that I uploaded and realized that fanfiction caused some of the italic font to disappear and become normal font. I can't do anything about it now, and I know it's the forth chapter buuuuut... The thing that really bugged me was in the second chapter where Sasori walks in on Deidara in the bathroom. The lines:  
_

"'But you're heart is still a human form, hm. We all –even those with permanent bloodstains on our hands- have certain urges that need to be met, wouldn't you agree?'"

"'You're useless in the pleasing section of social interaction, hm.'"

"In fact, Sasori-danna, I'm sure that even if you found someone to cherish, their appreciation for your art may not grow so much after they've realized your limitations, hm'"

"'…Who wants a man who isn't really a man at all?'"

_Are supposed to be in italics for that chapter because Sasori is remembering when Deidara said it, no ones actually saying it at that time. Sorry for the confusion, but it just really screwed up the point I was originally trying to make._

_P.P.S. Yes, I do write komputar instead of computer. All the cool kids are doing it! FALL INTO PEER PRESSURE!!  
_


	5. Chapter 5

He grabbed the blond bundle of hair that clung to his scalp and ripped the hair tie out, tossing it to the ground. As each strand got accustomed to gravity and fell beside his face, he could feel some stick to the wet surface of his cheeks.

A giant clay bird appeared beside him, craning its neck around to assess its surroundings. They were far enough from the Akatsuki lair that he could use jutsu.

As he stepped up on his creation, ready to take flight, one foot lay dormant on the earth.

"It's alright, hm." He stared back at the hair tie, petting his bird. It seemed more of a reassurance to himself than anything else. "I entered this organization with my hair down, I'll leave as I came."

And as he positioned himself on the clay, he felt more tears sprout from his eyes. But that was ok. It was better to get it over with now.

Get it over with and take flight.

***

Panting. Sweat. Desperation.

Why hadn't he done something sooner? Why hadn't he figured it out?

It was all his fault. Everything.

He remembered screaming, the door being slammed in his face, things being thrown around. It was all a show. It was a cry for him to realize the hurt he had caused.

The pain.

But he hadn't understood. He hadn't recognized. And now…

Deidara was gone.

There was weight, pressure that bore down on him. It made it almost impossible to run. Trees past by, green blurs, and he could hear his own voice. Calling.

Desperately calling.

It felt as though his legs were numb and bounced as he took each step. Yet at the same time he felt heavy, almost slow, and there seemed to be nothing he could do to put himself back in reality.

"_This feeling… This motion, this voice, this heart… I feel so _human_. I wanted to change myself so I wouldn't have to be held down by human capacity, by human…"_

An image of Deidara flashed in his mind and he winced.

"…_Hurt. But really I was just running away. Why did it take so long to pull me out? To make me understand that this-" _His hand grabbed at his chest and he gulped in more oxygen. _"-Heart would never let me run away. But now Deidara's run away. I have to find him. I have to show him… Pull him out of the dark like he did me. I have to-"_

***

"Chakra loss." He said to himself, dismissing his clay jutsu. It disappeared in a puff of smoke that quickly scattered as he heedlessly admired the area that surrounded the rocky edge he was on.

Looking down, it was quite a fall.

"I just didn't eat enough. Not too much stamina, that's all. I have to wait a bit, and then fly again… Just a bit."

It was a sough that brought on a wave of grief that could only be actualized by the intimidation of loss. He slumped down and curled his legs up, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his head on them. The breeze blew about the ledge he was perched. But he gave it no mind and slowly unzipped his Akatsuki cloak, letting it be taken behind him to the stretch of the cliff by the wind. It was useless to him now.

The thought of going back crossed his mind. Stop running away and turn back to his organization. But what was there for him?

"_Sasori."_

A stab of pain shot through him. But what was he to do?

_"I better start getting used to that name soon. I'm probably gonna be thinking about it a lot now so…"_

There was no way to stop it; the tears began to pour once again.

_"Am I weak? For putting my trust in someone, am I weak…? And to think I actually thought… That he thought he… Might've…"_

He sniffed, biting his lip but then letting out a sob that could not of been contained.

"Loved me."

And as wretched cries tore through his throat a voice called inside.

_"So what now? You have nothing, what are you going to do, hm?"_

He sniveled and wiped an eye with the back of his wrist. "I don't know… I'll just go back home, back to Iwa…"

It surprised him a bit that he spoke out loud to himself but startled him even more that something actually answered him back.

_"Back to Iwagakure? Bah! You know there's nothing for you there! No one has a use for you any more, Deidara. You have no where to go and no one to run to."_

"Then what am I supposed to do?!" He shouted back at himself, this was stupid. But it was some sort of outlet that he could work with. A kind of backdoor.

It's hostile voice dripped with ice as it answered. _"Disappear."_

"What…" He almost choked. "What do you mean…?"

_"Do you want to keep going on in this world in this disgusting form? Look at yourself! Useless piece of shit under anyone's boot. Running away won't help. That's a pointless existence. Disappear. If you really want to, do it right now. Show them what this world is like without our art."_

Deidara stood up unsteadily and peered down at himself, revealed under the fishnet shirt.

_"Disgusting."_

The stitches on his chest twitched.

_"Abomination."_

He slammed a hand to the stitches and felt them under his fingers.

_"Disappear."_

"Shut up…" He gasped, as if at a loss for oxygen. There was a sense inside him that he couldn't breath. "Just… Shut up!"

_"And if you really want to…"_

"I said, SHUT UP!!" He screamed at himself, raising both hands up to clutch his skull. It really felt like he was suffocating now.

_"Show them what this world is like without our art…"_

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!" He was shaking his head back and forward, staring down the cliff, terrified.

_"Show them…"_

"No!"

_"Show them."_

"No!!"

_"Show them!!!"_

"NO!!!"

Quivering hands went to his heart, tearing the fishnet.

"I-I-I'm bad."

_"That's right."_

"I-I'm disgusting?"

_"That's right."_

"So I have to… End myself… With a blast. So I won't end s-so… Uselessly."

There was no reply, but he knew what it would say. His oscillating fingers suddenly became firm and gripped the string at the end of his shut-in 'mouth'. A sadistic grin grew across his face until it almost reached ear to ear.

"I'll… Show them… Show…"

And for the briefest moment, which seemed like an eternity, a flash of his wooden counterpart broke into his mind and his face crumpled as he still held the string, ready to pull and set free his last piece of art.

"I'll show-" His face set. "-You!!"

His hand swooped and he grimaced, ready to feel the pain of the stitches getting ripped apart from his flesh.

But there was no pain, only a sense of self as he opened his eyes to see a hand gripping his wrist, not allowing it to move.

"Sorry, you haven't gotten away yet."

Thudding in his ears as he heard the voice. The voice that he'd been longing for set quietly as the breeze around the two blew and shaped them together, frozen.

Slowly, he let go of the string and turned, greeted with two emerald eyes as he averted his own.

"What are you doing here…" He drifted off as Sasori wiped a tear off of Deidara's cheek he hadn't known was there.

"I'm stopping you from making the biggest mistake of my life." He stated as though it were a fact. But still gently, ever so gently.

"It doesn't matter, hm." Deidara could hear his voice crack under the pressure of restraining his ever-imminent tears. "I'm only an experience, and now that you've experienced me just throw me out with all your broken puppets, ok? I have no more use to you."

There was silence before Deidara hesitantly focused his eyes back to Sasori's. Of all the times, he suddenly realized that he was taller than the redhead and for some reason found a problem with this.

Sasori's right eyebrow raised. "Do you really think I'd be standing on a two hundred and eighty foot tall ridge, coming to apologize once again to you if all you were to me was a broken puppet?"

"But you said-"

And suddenly Sasori had Deidara up against him, embracing as though if he let go Deidara would float away.

"What I said was just the pitiful attempt of a man trying to run away from humanity. It was repulsive and lowly. Please, forgive me."

"Oh.." Deidara sniveled, than buried his face in Sasori's shoulder. "Oh danna..!" But he couldn't say anymore, his sobs echoing over the cliff side.

There was a slight lapsing of time until Deidara pulled himself together enough to speak and both he and Sasori dropped to their knees at the same instant.

Deidara cocked his head at the Band-Aid on Sasori's cheek and ran his finger across it, feeling the indent. "I did that, huh?"

Sasori shrugged. "Yeah, but," He touched along the scratch he had left on Deidara's cheek a few days before then. "I did that."

Deidara smiled and Sasori brought up a clenched hand out of one of his pockets. "I found this…"

He dropped the hair tie into Deidara's hand and just as he realized what it was, a fierce blush rose in his cheeks.

"M-my hair's down, hm…"

Sasori smirked. "Yeah." He pushed Deidara down, back first on the ground and stayed his position on top of him. "Isn't it nice?"

A worried expression came across Deidara's face. "You want to… Again? Aren't you…"

Sasori pressed his lips firmly onto his and then released, but stayed perched on his bottom lip. "You might as well be quiet now if you're going to get into the idea of me feeling around your perfect body, because I've already decided that I will."

"Perfect?" Deidara questioned, almost astounded. "What do you mean perfect? I'm far from it, hm."

There was no reply until Sasori had one hand gliding over Deidara's nipples the other down his pants. His mouth bit the blonde's neck, feeling as he panted and then let go. Deidara could feel the smile grow on his lips and looked down at him wondering if he what made him so happy.

Sasori glanced to him too and actually grinned.

"You're perfect to me."

***

_~So? How'd you like it? It took some serious effort to write this thing, as does any story of its kind. I sure hope you all liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. And let's be truthful, by the end even I was getting giddy wondering what would happen next. (=^-^=) But this is about all I can say at the moment, I should be getting to bed now. Please review, tell me how you took the ending, I defiantly loved writing Deidara's little schizophrenic moment there. XD I have decided to write another Akatsuki pairing yaoi, which is a prelude to this one. Who shall it be I wonder? Well you're just gonna have to find out! Anyway, please review, tell me what you thought, and have a marvelous day~_

_~This story is dedicated to someone I loved, love, and will always love. My life will never be the same because a piece of me is with you. I feel empty without it. But I would rather you take it away from me than me never have given it to you in the first place._

_You will always be in my heart~_


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